Look At The World Through My Eyes.

.Freddy Juarez.
.San Diego.
.x24x Crew.
.Straight Edge.

You feel as if you have missed out on a great deal that life has to offer and you go about trying to makeup for past failures. Naturally at times you get depressed and you try to compensate for your missed opportunities by living your life to the full. This is what , perhaps, may be described as "living with exaggerated intensity". In this way you feel you can break the chains of the past and start again - and it could be that you are right. you are feeling very disillusioned at this time and you feel that you are being left out of things. you know - or you think you know - what you want but you seem unable to exert the effort to achieve your objectives. As a consequence you are feeling left out and neglected, you would like to be afforded greater security and fewer problems. You are a very choosy person - demanding and exacting in your emotional demands and very particular in your choice of partner. You are self sufficient and as a result of this overbearing nature you find it difficult to establish any depth of deep physical or mental involvement with members of the opposite sex.

You are experiencing considerable stress which is essentially the result of on-going rejection and hostility. You are in the unpleasant position where offers of trust, affection and understanding are being withheld and you are being treated with a degrading lack of consideration. You feel that you are being denied the appreciation that you deserve, which is essential to your well being and self esteem, but you have to face up to your situation because as matters stand at this time there is little that you can do about it. You feel that you are getting nowhere and the continuous struggle is a lonely one. All difficulties and no encouragement. What ever you try to say or do is met with continuous hostility and no matter how much you protest, you are consistently misunderstood. You need to escape from the situation but you are so perplexed that you cannot find strength of mind to make the necessary decision.

You would really like to be completely uninhibited, to let go, but you are held back by your sense of logic and rationality. Since you realize that by simple stupidity you could lose everything. What ever THAT may be.

- The Hope Conspiracy

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